Coming home


It was wonderful to be back. I, for the first time, felt like it was time to leave. Like I found what I was looking for and realized, how challenging those last eight months on my own were. 
I understood, that happiness cannot be found in a place, but in people. That the adventures I lived in south America were shaped by whom I met. By doing tours and sightseeing together. By eating out, celebrating and sharing intimacy. By laughing and drinking and enjoying long conversations while watching the sun going down at the end of the world. I realized, that being on my own, gave me the opportunity to look for myself and to find myself. To be who I always wanted to be and to perceive a view over the real cause of happiness. 
I had moments, were I wished me back home. Where I missed evenings with my best friends, drinking wine and talking about this and that. Where I missed my own bed and kitchen. My hobbies and my daily routine. When I felt, like it was time to come home. 
And then there were moments where I could not imagine leaving. Mostly moments where I was surrounded by a stunning landscape around me, listening to inspiring music and having interesting people accompanying me. 
 At the end of my time abroad those moments switched every now and then. I fell from a up into a down. I laughed, I cried. I was happy, I was not happy. I cannot actually describe the emotions that goes threw a person coming home after traveling for a very long time. I just knew, it was time. 
That I could come back home and that I would, for the first time, accept it. 


Not much changed when I arrived. I instantly had my apartment back. After three days I as well got my job back. After a week I sat back in a chair in a class listening to professors talking about things I was not ready yet to commit to. After two weeks, it felt like I never left. Nothing changed. It was like I was never gone. 
The only thing that changed, was the view about myself and the world around me. 

Its mid April now. I already have new plans in mind. I have a weekend booked in Bulgaria. I have plans for the summer and bigger plans for September. Just because I am back home for a bit longer now, does not mean I have to stay home. But right now I believe, that I do not need the excitement of moving abroad, I need the excitement of spending valuable time with my closest and most important friends.

But as I know myself, I will be the one ending up moving abroad again sooner as I planned it. 
Because thats kind of who I am. 

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