How it really feels to move abroad.

For me this post is not easy to write. This will be a bit more emotional and private. It will be about how it really feels to move to another city, country and even continent. Even if its not forever, I left my home, my friends and my family. For the second time in my life. 

The first time I moved abroad was three years ago (Holy shit this feels like ages). I finished High School and went as an Au-Pair to the United States. And I would say, that the States are definitely easier to "move to" than Argentina is. First of all the main language is English, a language I spoke nearly fluently. Secondly the US is a western country. In comparison to Argentina (which is so far one of the better countries of South America) it has less poverty, a better infrastructure and is also safer and easier to live in. Thirdly I moved over with a organization. The only thing I needed to take care for war my visa and well... that might be it. I had a family, I had a home, I had a Job, I had income and a lot of other girls doing the same thing as I did. I do not have this here. 
The only thing that was organized for me, was the connection to the University. And thats basically it. 
I mean I could have chosen a country that is nearer. But I like exploring countries and cities that I have never been to. Argentina was by far the best option for a) being far away and b) being cheap (concerning the free education for me). I like getting out of my comfort zone and experience new ways of life. The south American culture always interested me. Of course you cannot compare Argentina (and Chile) to Bolivia or Colombia. Even in south America there are huge differences. 
But still, you feel the Latin way of life here. 

Moving abroad means leaving things behind. You leave your family and your friends to find new people, that kind of get your second family. 
You leave your well known town for a huge, million metropol with thirteen Million people. You leave your job behind, your hobbies and your apartment. 
After High school anyways everyone left for a new life. People started studying elsewhere. Went backpacking or did volunteering. It was kind of a new normal thing to do. 
When I arrived in the states I had a welcome week in New York. I met a lot of girls that would move with me to San Francisco. They told us a lot of things about the states and we did not leave New York totally unprepared. Everything was organized. Even the flights and the family to pick us up. 
The girls I met got my new family. We were all in the same situation. We all searched for new friends. Also we had our hostfamily with the kids. We worked with them, we spend our time with them. We had a new house  with a room and food. 
We all met in the evenings or did roadtrips on the weekends. It was an amazing time. We did not had to worry about money, a house or finding friends. 

But normally this is not how it works. Marius arrived in Buenos Aires without even knowing where he would sleep. He did not have an apartment. I organized it from Germany and was super happy to at least have a bed. I did not even know if the apartment really exist until I stand in front of the door. 
It is always super exciting landing in a new city. You drive with the bus that you found somewhere outside to a totally expensive price to the city. The first thing you see are huge gettho like builings and you feel a mix of "what the fuck did I think?" and "OMG Love it. Soo different...".
Its always exciting. I was super happy that I had a room in a huge house with a lot of other international people. I hate having my own place. I am the kind of person feeling super lonely when I have my own place. I always chose hostels over hotels or Apartments because I cant stand the idea of being totally on my own. All alone. I love solotravel, but not because I am all alone all the time, but because I can do whatever I want. I can make so many friends with everyone. Can hang with those and those people. Can change my plans whenever I want. No partner that goes on your nerves. 
Still I was happy to have Marius when I moved here. There was someone that gave me a bit of the feeling not being totally on my own. I always kind of compare it to Asia, where I was alone. But that was different. Asia was a vacation. Asia was backpacking. Asia was moving from one city to the next in a speed.

I do live here now. I have my homebase in Calle Larrea. I live in the center of a 13 Million City. I have my supermarkets I go to. I have the cafes I hang at. I have my laundry woman and my Bagelshop. I have a new life here. And it scares sometime. There are days I never want to leave again. I imagine me moving abroad for longterm. I see me having a new life here.

 And then there are days where I miss my best friend to talk to. To see her, to laugh about insiders. To look at guys and find them hot together, to cook together or go to clubs. I miss my Mom, when she makes Crepes for Dinner. I see them all together, making memories and I am not part of it anymore. I see my dad with my sister going shopping or eating out. I see them having the long talks about everything that we had. I even miss things like my car, my own bed, the hobbies I had. 
But mostly I miss the people. My close friends to talk to. 
Here I do not have those close friends. I have twelve people I live with, that are actually doing a party downstairs right now. But none of them are my best ones. The ones I can always come to and talk to. We drink together and have fun. But I cant share stories with them. It is just different. 
Of course this takes time. In some months it will be different. This is not backpacking. This is moving abroad. It means you need to get used to a new culture, a new language, a new living. Next to that you need to find new friends. You need to find that one person that you can share everything with. 
This is hard sometimes. Sometimes I just call my friends at home because I miss the talks. 
I am not homesick. I know me. In some weeks I will never want to leave again. I will have good friends. It just all takes more time. This is moving abroad. Its harder for us. The ones that try it. 

But every second is worth of it. 
I learn so much. I get educated and I get to be a open minded person. 
I could live in every country. It takes time. But in the end, I will love it. 
This is me being part time normad. 

xoxo Marina

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